Body Image

Click For Fitness Newsletter

Body Image

Welcome to our fourth Newsletter in June.

We have A LOT of "NEW CLICKS" to share. Click Books, Click College, Click Father and Click World are up and running.

Click Books features: "Health, Fitness, Nutrition And Lifestyle Education Books For You And Your Family".

Click College features: "Health, Fitness, Nutrition And Lifestyle Education For College Students".

Click Father features: "Health, Fitness, Nutrition And Lifestyle Education for Father's".

Click World "Saving The World One Click At A Time".

Take The First Click!

We continue our journey into Lifestyle education with out latest entry:

Healthy Body Image

It seems like just yesterday that you had to coax your daughter to bathe. But then she turned 11 and started spending hours in the bathroom and sizing herself up in every mirror she passes. She seems consumed by her looks. What happened and is it healthy?

As they approach the teen years, it is common and natural for kids to become more interested in appearances - their own and others' - seemingly all of a sudden. Their bodies are going through some big changes as they grow and go through puberty. As preteens change physically they become more aware of how they look.

Growing and puberty affect more than a preteens outward appearance - body image is affected as well. Having a healthy body image means that most of your feelings, ideas, and opinions about your body and appearance are positive. It means accepting and appreciating your body and feeling mostly satisfied with your appearance.

Developing a healthy body image happens over time. It can be influenced by experiences and shaped by the opinions and feedback of others and by cultural messages.

Body Image and Appearance

Body image can be especially vulnerable during the preteen and teen years because appearances change so frequently and cultural messages that fuel dissatisfaction can be very strong. Being criticized or teased about appearance can be particularly hurtful at this age.

Preteens and teens often compare their looks with others' or with media images of the "right" way to look. In cultures in which looks seem to matter so much - and ideal images are so unrealistic - it is all too common to be dissatisfied with some aspect of your appearance.

But feeling too self-critical about appearance can interfere with body image and poor body image can hurt a teens overall self-image.

Beyond Appearances

As teens mature mentally and emotionally, they will develop a more complex self-image - one that incorporates their interests, talents, unique qualities, values, aspirations, and relationships. But during the early teen years, the image they see in the mirror makes up a big part of their self-image.

• While it is true that appearance is not everything, feeling satisfied with appearance does mean a lot. If you're wondering why your child suddenly seems so focused on appearance, keep in mind that preteens are:

• Adapting to a new reflection. Spending extra time grooming, making comparisons with friends and celebrities, and experimenting with clothing, hair, and makeup can be ways of getting to know and like the new self reflected in the mirror. 

• Making a fashion statement. When preteens and teens express their taste in clothes and hairstyles, they're making statements about themselves. Experimenting with and defining their styles is one way to express their interests, personality, independence, and identity. 

• Finding a way to belong. Peers, groups, and cliques - which take center stage during the teen years - can also play a role in heightening young teens' concerns about appearances. Dressing a certain way might be a way of feeling included, fitting in, standing out, or belonging to a group of peers. 

Boys and Body Image

It's not just girls who become focused on appearance. Boys might not be as vocal about it, but they can worry just as much about their looks. They may spend the same amount of time in front of the mirror, deciding where to part their hair, what kind of product to use, assessing acne, and deciding whether or not to shave. When your son emerges wearing pants that sag as if he hasn't quite finished getting dressed, he may in fact have spent hours getting them to hang at that exact angle.

Self-Critical Feelings
Feeling satisfied with appearance is not always easy. Many kids who have positive body images become self-conscious or self-critical as they enter the teen years. It is not uncommon for preteens and teens to express dissatisfaction about their appearance or to compare themselves with their friends, celebrities, or people they see in ads.

Our culture emphasizes the need to look just right. Ads for everything from makeup and hair products to clothing and toothpaste send messages that people need to look a certain way to be happy. It is hard not to be influenced by that.

You might hear your son or daughter fret about anything from height and hair to the shape of their nose or the size of their ears - any aspect that doesn't match the "ideal".

Body shape and size can concern them as well. It is important for preteens and teens to eat nutritious foods, limit junk foods, and get plenty of physical activity, but it's not advisable for them to diet. Being overly concerned about weight, restricting food, or exercising excessively can be signs of an eating disorder. Talk to your doctor if you notice any of these signs in your kids.

Self-criticism that seems constant or excessive or causes daily distress might signal an extreme body image problem known as body dysmorphic disorder. This condition involves obsessions and compulsions about slight or imagined imperfections in appearance.

A Natural Transition
In most cases, the focus on appearance is a very natural and common part of becoming a teenager. Typically, these expressions of frustration resolve quickly and do not warrant concern - just plenty of patience, empathy, support, and perspective from parents.

Still, parents can be frustrated when looks seem to matter so much to kids. It can be a delicate balance to help preteens feel confident and satisfied with their looks while encouraging them not to be overly concerned with the superficial. It is important to encourage teens to take pride in their appearance but also to emphasize their deeper qualities.

Boosting Body Image
As preteens try on different looks, parents can help by being accepting and supportive, providing positive messages, and encouraging other qualities that keep looks in perspective. Be sure to:

• Accept and understand. Recognize that being concerned about looks is as much a part of the teen years as a changing voice and learning to shave. You know that in the grand scheme of things your daughter's freckles don't matter, but to her they might seem paramount. As frustrating as it can be when they monopolize the bathroom, avoid criticizing kids for being concerned about appearances. As they grow, concern about their looks will stop dominating their lives. 

• Give lots of compliments. Provide lots of reassurance about kids' looks and about all of their other important qualities. As much as they may seem not to notice or care, simple statements like "you've got the most beautiful smile" or "that shirt looks great on you" really do matter. Compliment them on other physical attributes, such as strength, speed, balance, energy, or grace. Appreciating physical qualities and capabilities helps build a healthy body image. 

• Compliment what's inside. Notice out loud all the personal qualities that you love about your kids - how generous your son is to share with his little sister, the determined way that your daughter studies for her tests, or how your son stood by his best friend. Reassure them when they express insecurity. When you hear "I hate my hair" or "I'm so little," provide a valuable counterpoint. 

• Talk about what appearances mean. Guide your kids to think a little more deeply about appearances and how people express themselves. Talk about the messages that certain styles might convey. One outfit may send the message "I'm ready to party!" while others might say "I'm heading to school" or "I'm too lazy to do laundry." 

• Set reasonable boundaries. Be patient, but also set boundaries on how much time your kids can spend on grooming and dressing. Tell them it's not OK to inconvenience others or let chores go undone. Limits help kids understand how to manage time, be considerate of others' needs, share resources, exercise a little self-discipline, and keep appearances in perspective. 

• Be a good role model. How you talk about your own looks sets a powerful example. Constantly complaining about or fretting over your appearance teaches kids to cast the same critical eye on themselves. Almost everyone is dissatisfied with certain elements of their appearance, but talk instead about what your body can do, not just how it looks. Instead of griping about how big your legs are, talk about how they're strong enough to help you hike up a mountain. 

Having a healthy and positive body image means liking your body, appreciating it, and being grateful for it's qualities and capabilities. When parents care for and appreciate their own bodies, they teach their kids to do the same.

-Christopher D. Sacks

(Information and statistics are provided in part by Kids Health, The Nemours Foundation and reviewed by D'Arcy S. lyness, PhD)

Drugs (Part 2) Talking To Your Kids

Click For Fitness Newsletter

Drugs (Part 2)

Welcome to our third Newsletter in June.

Due to several emails received from parents inquiring HOW to talk to their children about drugs and drug-abuse we have decided to write a follow-up piece addressing these questions and concerns:

DRUGS: Talk To Your Child

Just as you inoculate your children against illnesses like measles, you can help "immunize" them against drug use by giving them the facts before they are in a risky situation.

When kids don't feel comfortable talking to parents, they are likely to seek answers elsewhere, even if their sources are unreliable. Kids who are not properly informed are at greater risk of engaging in unsafe behavior including experimenting with drugs.

Preschool to Age 7
Before you get nervous about talking to young kids, take heart. You have probably already laid the groundwork for a discussion. For instance, whenever you give a fever medication or an antibiotic to your child, you have the opportunity to discuss the benefits and the appropriate and responsible use of those drugs. This is also a time when your child is likely to be very attentive to your behavior and guidance.

Start taking advantage of "teachable moments" now. If you see a character on a billboard or on TV with a cigarette, talk about smoking, nicotine addiction, and what smoking does to a person's body. This can lead into a discussion about other drugs and how they can potentially cause harm. (See "DRUGS" newsletter)

Keep the tone of these discussions calm and use terms that your child can understand. Be specific about the effects of the drugs: How they make a person feel, the risk of overdose, and the other long-term damage they can cause. To give your child these facts, you might have to do a little research. (See 'DRUGS" newsletter)

Ages 8 to 12
As your kids grow older, you can begin conversations with them by asking them what they think about drugs. By asking the questions in a nonjudgmental, open-ended way, you are more likely to get an honest response.

Kids this age usually are still willing to talk openly to their parents about touchy subjects. Establishing a dialogue now helps keep the door open as kids get older and are less inclined to share their thoughts and feelings.

Even if your question does not immediately result in a discussion, you will get your kids thinking about the issue. If you show your kids that you are willing to discuss the topic and hear what they have to say, they might be more willing to come to you for help in the future.

News, such as steroid use in professional sports, can be springboards for casual conversations about current events. Use these discussions to give your kids information about the risks of drugs.

Ages 13 to 17
Kids this age are likely to know other kids who use alcohol or drugs, and have friends who drive. Many are still willing to express their thoughts or concerns with parents about these issues.

Use these conversations not only to understand your child's thoughts and feelings, but also to talk about the dangers of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Talk about the legal issues - jail time and fines - and the possibility that they or someone else might be killed or seriously injured.

Consider establishing a written or verbal contract on the rules about going out or using the car. You can promise to pick your kids up at any time (even 2:00 AM!) no questions asked if they call you when the person responsible for driving has been drinking or using drugs.

The contract also can detail other situations: For example, if you find out that someone drank or used drugs in your car while your son or daughter was behind the wheel, you may want to suspend driving privileges for 6 months. By discussing all of this with your kids from the start, you eliminate surprises and make your expectations clear.

Laying Good Groundwork
No parent, child, or family is immune to the effects of drugs. Some of the best kids can end up in trouble, even when they have made an effort to avoid it and even when they have been given the proper guidance from their parents.

However, certain groups of kids may be more likely to use drugs than others. Kids who have friends who use drugs are likely to try drugs themselves. Those feeling socially isolated for whatever reason may turn to drugs.

It is important to know your child's friends - and their parents. Be involved in your children's lives. If your child's school runs an anti-drug program, get involved. You might learn something! Pay attention to how your kids are feeling and let them know that you are available and willing to listen in a nonjudgmental way. Recognize when your kids are going through difficult times so that you can provide the support they need or seek additional care if it is needed.

A warm, open family environment where kids are encouraged to talk about their feelings, where their achievements are praised, and where their self-esteem is bolstered - encourages kids to come forward with their questions and concerns. When censored in their own homes, kids go elsewhere to find support and answers to their most important questions.

Start the conversation today!

-Christopher D. Sacks


(Information provided in part by Kids Health and reviewed by Michele Van Vranken, MD)

Drugs

Welcome to our second Newsletter in June.

We have been busy at Click For Fitness. We have redesigned the CLICK KITCHEN and we are proud to announce the introduction of CLICK BABY: Health, Fitness, Nutrition And Lifestyle Education for you and your baby.

Click For Fitness is your online resource for all matters relating to health, fitness, nutrition and lifestyle eduction. You are in control of your health with Click For Fitness.

Now let us take a journey into the very troubling and unsettling world of drugs and drug abuse. This is the next chapter in our series on Lifestyle Education.

DRUGS

These days, drugs can be found everywhere, and it may seem like everyone is doing them. A lot of people are tempted by the excitement or escape that drugs seem to offer.

But learning the facts about drugs can help you see the risks of chasing this excitement or escape. Here is what you need to know.

The Deal on Substances

Thanks to medical and drug research, there are thousands of drugs that help people. Antibiotics and vaccines have revolutionized the treatment of infections. Medicines can lower blood pressure, treat diabetes, and reduce the body's rejection of new organs. Medicines can cure, slow, or prevent disease, helping us to lead healthier and happier lives. But there are also lots of illegal, harmful drugs that people take to help them feel good or have a good time.

How do drugs work? Drugs are chemicals or substances that change the way our bodies work. When you put them into your body (often by swallowing, inhaling, or injecting them), drugs find their way into your bloodstream and are transported to parts of your body, such as your brain. In the brain, drugs may either intensify or dull your senses, alter your sense of alertness, and sometimes decrease physical pain.

A drug may be helpful or harmful. The effects of drugs can vary depending upon the kind of drug taken, how much is taken, how often it is used, how quickly it gets to the brain, and what other drugs, food, or substances are taken at the same time. Effects can also vary based on the differences in body size, shape, and chemistry.

Although substances can feel good at first, they can ultimately do a lot of harm to the body and brain. Drinking alcohol, smoking tobacco, taking illegal drugs, and sniffing glue can all cause serious damage to the human body. Some drugs severely impair a person's ability to make healthy choices and decisions. Teens who drink, for example, are more likely to get involved in dangerous situations, such as driving under the influence or having unprotected sex.

Why People Take Drugs

There are many kinds of drugs available and many reasons for trying them or starting to use them regularly. People take drugs just for the pleasure they believe they can bring. Often it is because someone tried to convince them that drugs would make them feel good or that they'd have a better time if they took them.

Some teens believe drugs will help them think better, be more popular, stay more active, or become better athletes. Others are simply curious and figure one try won't hurt. Others want to fit in. A few use drugs to gain attention from their parents.
Many teens use drugs because they're depressed or think drugs will help them escape their problems. The truth is, drugs don't solve problems — they simply hide feelings and problems. When a drug wears off, the feelings and problems remain, or become worse. Drugs can ruin every aspect of a person's life.

Here are the facts on some of the more common drugs.

Alcohol
The oldest and most widely used drug in the world, alcohol is a depressant that alters perceptions, emotions, and senses.

How It's Used: Alcohol is a liquid that is drunk.

Effects & Dangers:

• Alcohol first acts as a stimulant, and then it makes people feel relaxed and a bit sleepy.

• High doses of alcohol seriously affect judgment and coordination. Drinkers may have slurred speech, confusion, depression, short-term memory loss, and slow reaction times.

• Large volumes of alcohol drunk in a short period of time may cause alcohol poisoning.

Addictiveness: Teens who use alcohol can become psychologically dependent upon it to feel good, deal with life, or handle stress. In addition, their bodies may demand more and more to achieve the same kind of high experienced in the beginning. Some teens are also at risk of becoming physically addicted to alcohol. Withdrawal from alcohol can be painful and even life threatening. Symptoms range from shaking, sweating, nausea, anxiety, and depression to hallucinations, fever, and convulsions.

Amphetamines
Amphetamines are stimulants that accelerate functions in the brain and body. They come in pills or tablets. Prescription diet pills also fall into this category of drugs.Street Names: speed, uppers, dexies, bennies

How They're Used: Amphetamines are swallowed, inhaled, or injected.

Effects & Dangers:

• Swallowed or snorted, these drugs hit users with a fast high, making them feel powerful, alert, and energized.

• Uppers pump up heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure, and they can also cause sweating, shaking, headaches, sleeplessness, and blurred vision.

• Prolonged use may cause hallucinations and intense paranoia.

Addictiveness: Amphetamines are psychologically addictive. Users who stop report that they experience various mood problems such as aggression, anxiety, and intense cravings for the drugs.

Cocaine and Crack

Cocaine is a white crystalline powder made from the dried leaves of the coca plant. Crack, named for its crackle when heated, is made from cocaine. It looks like white or tan pellets.

Street Names for Cocaine: coke, snow, blow, nose candy, white, big C

Street Names for Crack: freebase, rock

How They're Used: Cocaine is inhaled through the nose or injected. Crack is smoked.

Effects & Dangers:

• Cocaine is a stimulant that rocks the central nervous system, giving users a quick, intense feeling of power and energy. Snorting highs last between 15 and 30 minutes; smoking highs last between 5 and 10 minutes.

• Cocaine also elevates heart rate, breathing rate, blood pressure, and body temperature.

• Injecting cocaine can give you hepatitis or AIDS if you share needles with other users. Snorting can also put a hole inside the lining of your nose.

• First-time users - even teens - of both cocaine and crack can stop breathing or have fatal heart attacks. Using either of these drugs even one time can kill you.

Addictiveness: These drugs are highly addictive, and as a result, the drug, not the user, calls the shots. Even after one use, cocaine and crack can create both physical and psychological cravings that make it very, very difficult for users to stop.

Cough and Cold Medicines (DXM)

Several over-the-counter cough and cold medicines contain the ingredient dextromethorphan (also called DXM). If taken in large quantities, these over-the-counter medicines can cause hallucinations, loss of motor control, and "out-of-body" (or disassociative) sensations.

Street Names: triple C, candy, C-C-C, dex, DM, drex, red devils, robo, rojo, skittles, tussin, velvet, vitamin D

How They're Used: Cough and cold medicines, which come in tablets, capsules, gel caps, and lozenges as well as syrups, are swallowed. DXM is often extracted from cough and cold medicines, put into powder form, and snorted.

Effects & Dangers:

• Small doses help suppress coughing, but larger doses can cause fever, confusion, impaired judgment, blurred vision, dizziness, paranoia, excessive sweating, slurred speech, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, irregular heartbeat, high blood pressure, headache, lethargy, numbness of fingers and toes, redness of face, dry and itchy skin, loss of consciousness, seizures, brain damage, and even death.

• Sometimes users mistakenly take cough syrups that contain other medications in addition to dextromethorphan. High doses of these other medications can cause serious injury or death.

Addictiveness: People who use cough and cold medicines and DXM regularly to get high can become psychologically dependent upon them (meaning they like the feeling so much they can't stop, even though they aren't physically addicted).

Depressants
Depressants, such as tranquilizers and barbiturates, calm nerves and relax muscles. Many are legally available by prescription (such as Valium and Xanax) and are bright-colored capsules or tablets.

Street Names: downers, goof balls, barbs, ludes

How They're Used: Depressants are swallowed.

Effects & Dangers:

• When used as prescribed by a doctor and taken at the correct dosage, depressants can help people feel calm and reduce angry feelings.

• Larger doses can cause confusion, slurred speech, lack of coordination, and tremors.

• Very large doses can cause a person to stop breathing and result in death.

• Depressants and alcohol should never be mixed — this combination greatly increases the risk of overdose and death.

Addictiveness: Depressants can cause both psychological and physical dependence.

Ecstasy (MDMA)
This is a designer drug created by underground chemists. It comes in powder, tablet, or capsule form. Ecstasy is a popular club drug among teens because it is widely available at raves, dance clubs, and concerts.

Street Names: XTC, X, Adam, E, Roll

How It's Used: Ecstasy is swallowed or sometimes snorted.

Effects & Dangers:

• This drug combines a hallucinogenic with a stimulant effect, making all emotions, both negative and positive, much more intense.

• Users feel a tingly skin sensation and an increased heart rate.

• Ecstasy can also cause dry mouth, cramps, blurred vision, chills, sweating, and nausea.

• Sometimes users clench their jaws while using. They may chew on something (like a pacifier) to relieve this symptom.

• Many users also experience depression, paranoia, anxiety, and confusion. There is some concern that these effects on the brain and emotion can become permanent with chronic use of ecstasy.

Ecstasy also raises the temperature of the body. This increase can sometimes cause organ damage or even death

Addictiveness: Although the physical addictiveness of Ecstasy is unknown, teens who use it can become psychologically dependent upon it to feel good, deal with life, or handle stress.

GHB
GHB, which stands for gamma hydroxybutyrate, is often made in home basement labs, usually in the form of a liquid with no odor or color. It has gained popularity at dance clubs and raves and is a popular alternative to Ecstasy for some teens and young adults. The number of people brought to emergency departments because of GHB side effects is quickly rising in the United States. And according to the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA), since 1995 GHB has killed more users than Ecstasy.

Street Names: Liquid Ecstasy, G, Georgia Home Boy

How It's Used: When in liquid or powder form (mixed in water), GHB is drunk; in tablet form it is swallowed.

Effects & Dangers:

• GHB is a depressant drug that can cause both euphoric (high) and hallucinogenic effects.

• The drug has several dangerous side effects, including severe nausea, breathing problems, decreased heart rate, and seizures.

• GHB has been used for date rape because it is colorless and odorless and easy to slip into drinks.

• At high doses, users can lose consciousness within minutes. It's also easy to overdose: There is only a small difference between the dose used to get high and the amount that can cause an overdose.

• Overdosing GHB requires emergency care in a hospital right away. Within an hour GHB overdose can cause coma and stop someone's breathing, resulting in death.

• GHB (even at lower doses) mixed with alcohol is very dangerous - using it even once can kill you.

Addictiveness: When users come off GHB they may have withdrawal symptoms such as insomnia and anxiety. Teens may also become dependent upon it to feel good, deal with life, or handle stress.

Heroin

Heroin comes from the dried milk of the opium poppy, which is also used to create the class of painkillers called narcotics — medicines like codeine and morphine. Heroin can range from a white to dark brown powder to a sticky, tar-like substance.

Street Names: horse, smack, Big H, junk

How It's Used: Heroin is injected, smoked, or inhaled (if it is pure).

Effects & Dangers:

• Heroin gives you a burst of euphoric (high) feelings, especially if it's injected. This high is often followed by drowsiness, nausea, stomach cramps, and vomiting.

• Users feel the need to take more heroin as soon as possible just to feel good again.

• With long-term use, heroin ravages the body. It is associated with chronic constipation, dry skin, scarred veins, and breathing problems.

• Users who inject heroin often have collapsed veins and put themselves at risk of getting deadly infections such as HIV, hepatitis B or C, and bacterial endocarditis (inflammation of the lining of the heart) if they share needles with other users.

Addictiveness: Heroin is extremely addictive and easy to overdose on (which can cause death). Withdrawal is intense and symptoms include insomnia, vomiting, and muscle pain.

Inhalants
Inhalants are substances that are sniffed or "huffed" to give the user an immediate rush or high. They include household products like glues, paint thinners, dry cleaning fluids, gasoline, felt-tip marker fluid, correction fluid, hair spray, aerosol deodorants, and spray paint.

How It's Used: Inhalants are breathed in directly from the original container (sniffing or snorting), from a plastic bag (bagging), or by holding an inhalant-soaked rag in the mouth (huffing).

Effects & Dangers:

• Inhalants make you feel giddy and confused, as if you were drunk. Long-time users get headaches, nosebleeds, and may suffer loss of hearing and sense of smell.

• Inhalants are the most likely of abused substances to cause severe toxic reaction and death. Using inhalants, even one time, can kill you.

Addictiveness: Inhalants can be very addictive. Teens who use inhalants can become psychologically dependent upon them to feel good, deal with life, or handle stress.

Ketamine
Ketamine hydrochloride is a quick-acting anesthetic that is legally used in both humans (as a sedative for minor surgery) and animals (as a tranquilizer). At high doses, it causes intoxication and hallucinations similar to LSD.

Street Names: K, Special K, vitamin K, bump, cat Valium

How It's Used: Ketamine usually comes in powder that users snort. Users often do it along with other drugs such as Ecstasy (called kitty flipping) or cocaine or sprinkle it on marijuana blunts.

Effects & Dangers:

• Users may become delirious, hallucinate, and lose their sense of time and reality. The trip — also called K-hole — that results from ketamine use lasts up to 2 hours.

• Users may become nauseated or vomit, become delirious, and have problems with thinking or memory.

• At higher doses, ketamine causes movement problems, body numbness, and slowed breathing.

• Overdosing on ketamine can stop you from breathing - and kill you.

Addictiveness: Teens who use it can become psychologically dependent upon it to feel good, deal with life, or handle stress.

LSD
LSD (which stands for lysergic acid diethylamide) is a lab-brewed hallucinogen and mood-changing chemical. LSD is odorless, colorless, and tasteless.

Street Names: acid, blotter, doses, microdots

How It's Used: LSD is licked or sucked off small squares of blotting paper. Capsules and liquid forms are swallowed. Paper squares containing acid may be decorated with cute cartoon characters or colorful designs.

Effects & Dangers:

• Hallucinations occur within 30 to 90 minutes of dropping acid. People say their senses are intensified and distorted — they see colors or hear sounds with other delusions such as melting walls and a loss of any sense of time. But effects are unpredictable, depending on how much LSD is taken and the user.

• Once you go on an acid trip, you can't get off until the drug is finished with you — at times up to about 12 hours or even longer!

• Bad trips may cause panic attacks, confusion, depression, and frightening delusions.

• Physical risks include sleeplessness, mangled speech, convulsions, increased heart rate, and coma.

• Users often have flashbacks in which they feel some of the effects of LSD at a later time without having used the drug again.

Addictiveness: Teens who use it can become psychologically dependent upon it to feel good, deal with life, or handle stress.

Marijuana
The most widely used illegal drug in the United States, marijuana resembles green, brown, or gray dried parsley with stems or seeds. A stronger form of marijuana called hashish (hash) looks like brown or black cakes or balls. Marijuana is often called a gateway drug because frequent use can lead to the use of stronger drugs.

Street Names: pot, weed, blunts, chronic, grass, reefer, herb, ganja

How It's Used: Marijuana is usually smoked — rolled in papers like a cigarette (joints), or in hollowed-out cigars (blunts), pipes (bowls), or water pipes (bongs). Some people mix it into foods or brew it as a tea.

Effects & Dangers:

• Marijuana can affect mood and coordination. Users may experience mood swings that range from stimulated or happy to drowsy or depressed.

• Marijuana also elevates heart rate and blood pressure. Some people get red eyes and feel very sleepy or hungry. The drug can also make some people paranoid or cause them to hallucinate.

• Marijuana is as tough on the lungs as cigarettes — steady smokers suffer coughs, wheezing, and frequent colds.

Addictiveness: Teens who use marijuana can become psychologically dependent upon it to feel good, deal with life, or handle stress. In addition, their bodies may demand more and more marijuana to achieve the same kind of high experienced in the beginning.

Methamphetamine
Methamphetamine is a powerful stimulant.

Street Names: crank, meth, speed, crystal, chalk, fire, glass, crypto, ice

How It's Used: It can be swallowed, snorted, injected, or smoked.

Effects & Dangers:

• Users feel a euphoric rush from methamphetamine, particularly if it is smoked or shot up. But they can develop tolerance quickly — and will use more meth for longer periods of time, resulting in sleeplessness, paranoia, and hallucinations.

• Users sometimes have intense delusions such as believing that there are insects crawling under their skin.

• Prolonged use may result in violent, aggressive behavior, psychosis, and brain damage.

• The chemicals used to make methamphetamine can also be dangerous to both people and the environment.

Addictiveness: Methamphetamine is highly addictive.

Nicotine
Nicotine is a highly addictive stimulant found in tobacco. This drug is quickly absorbed into the bloodstream when smoked.

How It's Used: Nicotine is typically smoked in cigarettes or cigars. Some people put a pinch of tobacco (called chewing or smokeless tobacco) into their mouths and absorb nicotine through the lining of their mouths.

Effects & Dangers:

• Physical effects include rapid heartbeat, increased blood pressure, shortness of breath, and a greater likelihood of colds and flu.

• Nicotine users have an increased risk for lung and heart disease and stroke. Smokers also have bad breath and yellowed teeth. Chewing tobacco users may suffer from cancers of the mouth and neck.\

• Withdrawal symptoms include anxiety, anger, restlessness, and insomnia.

Addictiveness: Nicotine is as addictive as heroin or cocaine, which makes it extremely difficult to quit. Those who start smoking before the age of 21 have the hardest time breaking the habit.

Rohypnol
Rohypnol (pronounced: ro-hip-nol) is a low-cost, increasingly popular drug. Because it often comes in presealed bubble packs, many teens think that the drug is safe.

Street Names: roofies, roach, forget-me pill, date rape drug

How It's Used: This drug is swallowed, sometimes with alcohol or other drugs.

Effects & Dangers:

• Rohypnol is a prescription anti anxiety medication that is 10 times more powerful than Valium.

• It can cause the blood pressure to drop, as well as cause memory loss, drowsiness, dizziness, and an upset stomach

• Though it's part of the depressant family of drugs, it causes some people to be overly excited or aggressive.

• Rohypnol has received a lot of attention because of its association with date rape. Many teen girls and women report having been raped after having rohypnol slipped into their drinks. The drug also causes "anterograde amnesia." This means it's hard to remember what happened while on the drug, like a blackout. Because of this it can be hard to give important details if a young woman wants to report the rape.

Addictiveness: Users can become physically addicted to rohypnol, so it can cause extreme withdrawal symptoms when users stop.

PARENTS: Help Your Teen Avoid Drugs

Many teens experiment with drugs, putting their health and safety at risk — but teen drug abuse isn't inevitable. You can help prevent teen drug abuse by talking to your teen about the consequences of using drugs and the importance of making healthy choices.

Why teens abuse drugs
Various factors may contribute to teen drug abuse, from insecurity and self-doubt to a desire for social acceptance. Teens often feel indestructible and may not consider the consequences of their actions, leading them to take potentially dangerous risks — such as abusing legal or illegal drugs.

Common risk factors for teen drug abuse include:

• A family history of substance abuse
• Depression
• Low self-esteem
• Early aggressive behavior
• Feelings of social rejection
• Lack of parental supervision
• Poverty
• Drug availability

Consequences of teen drug abuse
Teen drug abuse can have a number of negative consequences, including:

• Impaired driving. Driving under the influence of any drug can impair a driver's motor skills, reaction time and judgment — putting the driver, his or her passengers, and others on the road at risk.

• Sexual activity. Teens who abuse drugs are more likely to have poor judgment, which can result in unplanned and unsafe sex.

• Drug dependence. Teens who abuse drugs are at increased risk of serious drug use later in life.

• Lack of motivation. Drug use may lead a teen to lose interest in or become indifferent about what happens at school or in other areas of his or her life.

• Concentration problems. Use of drugs, such as marijuana, may affect the parts of the brain that control memory, motivation, attention and learning — making it more difficult to learn and perform complex tasks.

• Serious health problems. In high doses, Ecstasy can interfere with the body's ability to regulate temperature and cause liver, kidney and heart failure. Use of methamphetamine can cause heart and neurological damage, psychotic behavior and aggression. Chronic use of inhalants can cause brain or nerve damage and harm the heart, lungs, liver and kidneys. In addition, abuse of prescription or over-the-counter medications can cause depression, respiratory distress, cardiac distress and seizures.

Talking about teen drug abuse
It can be difficult to talk to your teen about drug abuse. Start by choosing a comfortable time and setting. If you're anxious, share your feelings with your teen. You might also consider sharing the responsibility with another nurturing adult in your teens life.

When you discuss teen drug abuse, you might:

• Ask your teens views. Listen to your teens opinions — which may differ from your own — and questions about drug use. Encourage your teen to talk by asking open-ended questions, such as "Tell me what you think about ... ."

• Discuss reasons not to abuse drugs. Avoid scare tactics. Emphasize how drug use can affect things important to your teen — such as sports, driving, health and appearance. Explain that even a teen can develop a drug problem.

• Consider media messages. Some television programs, movies, Web sites or songs glamorize or trivialize drug use. Talk about what your teen has seen or heard.

• Plan specific ways to resist peer pressure. Brainstorm with your teen about how to respond to offers of drugs. Suggest that your teen try saying, "No thanks," or "I don't do drugs because it could get me kicked off the team." Your teen also might offer friends a socially acceptable alternative activity, such as watching a movie.

• Be ready to discuss your own drug use. Think ahead about how you'll respond if your teen asks about your own drug use. If you chose not to use drugs, explain why. If you did use drugs, share what the experience taught you.

Don't be afraid that talking about teen drug abuse will plant ideas in your teens head. Conversations about drug abuse won't tempt your teen to try drugs. Instead, talking about drug abuse lets your teen know your views and understand what you expect of him or her.

Other preventive strategies
In addition to talking to your teen, consider other strategies to prevent teen drug abuse:

• Know your teens activities. Pay attention to your teens whereabouts. Find out what adult-supervised activities your teen is interested in and encourage him or her get involved.

• Establish rules and consequences. Make it clear that you won't tolerate drug abuse. Rules might include leaving a party where drug abuse occurs and not riding in a car with a driver who's been abusing drugs. Agree on the consequences of breaking the rules ahead of time — and enforce them consistently.

• Know your teens friends. If your teens friends abuse drugs, your teen may feel pressure to experiment, too. Get to know your teens friends and their parents.

• Keep an eye on prescription drugs. Ask your doctor if any medications prescribed for your family have a potential for abuse. Take an inventory of all prescription and over-the-counter medications in your home and keep them out of easily accessible places — such as the medicine cabinet. If your teen needs to take medication during school hours, find out if it can be stored in the school's health office rather than in your teens locker.

• Provide support. Offer praise and encouragement when your teen succeeds, whether at school or at home. A strong bond between you and your teen may help prevent your teen from abusing drugs.

• Set a good example. Don't abuse drugs yourself.

Recognizing the warning signs of teen drug abuse

• Be aware of possible red flags, such as:
• A sudden or extreme change in friends, eating habits, sleeping patterns, physical appearance or school performance
• Lost interest in favorite activities
• A hostile or uncooperative attitude
• Visits to pro-drug Web sites
• Secrecy about actions or possessions
• An unexplained disappearance of household money
• Empty drug or medicine containers or drug paraphernalia in your teens room
• An unusual chemical or medicine smell on your teen or in your teens room

Seeking help for teen drug abuse
If you suspect that your teen is abusing drugs, talk to him or her. Avoid accusations. Instead, ask your teen what's going on in his or her life and encourage him or her to be honest. If your teen admits to abusing drugs, let him or her know that you're disappointed. Be sure to enforce the consequences you've established so that your teen understands that using drugs will always result in a loss of privileges. Explain to your teen ways that he or she can help regain your lost trust, such as improving grades. If you think your teen is involved in significant drug use, contact a doctor, counselor or other health care provider who specializes in drug problems.

Remember, it's never too soon to start talking to your teen about drug abuse. The conversations you have today can help your teen make healthy choices in the future.

-Christopher D. Sacks
(information provided in part and reviewed by Steven Dowshen MD, Michele Van Vranken MD and The Mayo Clinic Staff)

Alcohol

WELCOME to June!

We are continuing our "Lifestyle Eduction" journey with a look into Alcohol and it's impact on children. This is written from a Parent's perspective.

As much as parents may not like to think about it, the truth is that many kids and teens try alcohol during their high school and college years, long before it's legal for them to drink. Research has shown that nearly 80% of high school kids have tried alcohol.

Although experimentation with alcohol may be common among kids, it is not safe or legal. It is important to start discussing alcohol use and abuse with your kids at an early age and keep talking about it as they grow up.

Alcohol Abuse: The Effects

Alcohol interferes with a person's perception of reality and ability to make good decisions. This can be particularly hazardous for kids and teens who have less problem-solving and decision-making experience.

Short-term effects of drinking alcohol include:

• distorted vision, hearing, and coordination 
• altered perceptions and emotions 
• impaired judgment, which can lead to accidents, drowning, and other risky behaviors like unsafe sex and drug use 
• bad breath 
• hangovers 

Long-term effects include:

• cirrhosis and cancer of the liver 
• loss of appetite 
• serious vitamin deficiencies 
• stomach ailments 
• heart and central nervous system damage 
• memory loss 
• an increased risk of impotence 
• high risk for overdosing 

How Do I Talk To My Child About Alcohol?

Long before your kids are presented with a chance to drink alcohol, you can increase the chances that they will just say "no."

Childhood is a time of learning and discovery, so it is important to encourage kids to ask questions, even questions that might be hard to answer. Open, honest, age-appropriate communication NOW sets the stage for your kids to come to you later with other difficult topics or problems.

Preschoolers
Although 3 and 4 year-olds are not ready to learn the facts about alcohol or other drugs, they start to develop the decision-making and problem-solving skills they will need at a later date. You can help them develop those skills in some simple ways.

For instance, let toddlers choose their own clothing and don't worry if their choices do not match. This lets them know you think they are capable of making good decisions. Assign simple tasks and let kids know what a big help they are.

Set a good example of the behavior that you want your kids to demonstrate. This is especially true in the preschool years when kids tend to imitate adults' actions as a way of learning. By being active, eating healthy, and drinking responsibly, parents teach their kids important lessons at an early age.

Ages 4 to 7
Kids this age still think and learn mostly by experience and don't have a good understanding of things that will happen in the future. Keep discussions about alcohol in the present tense and relate them to things that kids know and understand. For example, watching TV with your child can provide a chance to talk about advertising messages. Ask about the ads you see and encourage your children to ask questions.

Kids are interested in how their bodies work, so this is a good time to talk about maintaining good health and avoiding substances that might harm the body. Talk about how alcohol hurts a person's ability to see, hear, and walk without tripping; it alters the way people feel; and it makes it hard to judge things like whether the water is too deep or if there is a car coming too close - and it gives people bad breath and a headache! Keep it simple.

Ages 8 to 11
The later elementary school years are a crucial time in which you can influence your child's decisions about alcohol use. Kids at this age tend to love to learn facts, especially strange ones, and are eager to learn how things work and what sources of information are available to them.

It is a good time to openly discuss facts about alcohol: its long and short-term effects and consequences, its physical effects, and why it's especially dangerous for growing bodies.

Kids also can be heavily influenced by friends at this age. Their interests may be determined by what their peers think. So teach your child to say "no" to peer pressure, and discuss the importance of thinking and acting as an individual.

Casual discussions about alcohol and friends can take place at the dinner table as part of your normal conversation: "I've been reading about young kids using alcohol. Do you ever hear about kids using alcohol or other drugs in your school?"

Ages 12 to 17
By the teen years, your kids should know the facts about alcohol and your attitudes and beliefs regarding substance abuse. Use this time to reinforce what you've already taught them and focus on keeping the lines of communication open.

Teens are more likely to engage in risky behavior, and their increasing need for independence may make them want to defy their parents' wishes or instructions. But if you make your teen feel accepted and respected as an individual, you increase the chances that your child will try to be open with you.

Kids want to be liked and accepted by their peers, and they need a certain degree of privacy and trust. Avoid excessive preaching and threats, and instead, emphasize your love and concern. Even when they are annoyed by parental interest and questions, teens still recognize that it comes with the territory.

Teach Them To SAY NO!

Teach kids a variety of approaches to deal with offers of alcohol:

• Encourage them to ask questions. If a drink of any kind is offered, they should ask, "What is it?" and "Where did you get it?" 
• Teach them to say "No, thanks" when an alcoholic drink is offered. 
• Remind them to leave any uncomfortable situation. Make sure they have money for transportation or a phone number where you or another responsible adult can be reached. 
• Teach kids never to accept a ride from someone who has been drinking. Some parents find that offering to pick up their kids from an uncomfortable situation - NO QUESTIONS ASKED - helps encourage kids to be honest and call when they need help. 

Risk Factors

Times of transition, such as the onset of puberty or a parents' divorce, can lead kids to alcohol use. Teach your kids that even when life is upsetting or stressful, drinking alcohol as an escape can make a bad situation much worse.

Kids who have problems with self-control or low self-esteem are more likely to abuse alcohol. They may not believe that they can handle their problems and frustrations without using something to make them feel better.

Kids without a sense of connectedness with their families or who feel different in some way (appearance, economic circumstances, etc.) may also be at risk. Those who find it hard to believe in themselves desperately need the love and support of parents or other family members.

In fact, not wanting to harm the relationships between themselves and the adults who care about them is the most common reason that young people give for not using alcohol and other drugs.

General Tips

Fortunately, parents can do much to protect their kids from using and abusing alcohol:

• Be a good role model. Consider how your use of alcohol or medications may influence your kids. Consider offering only nonalcoholic beverages at parties and other social events to show your kids that you don't need to drink alcohol to have fun. 
• Educate yourself about alcohol so you can be a better teacher. Read and collect information that you can share with kids and other parents. 
• Try to be conscious of how you can help build your child's self-esteem. For example, kids are more likely to feel good about themselves if you emphasize their strengths and positively reinforce healthy behaviors. 
• Teach kids to manage stress in healthy ways, such as by seeking help from a trusted adult or engaging in a favorite activity. 

What Are The Signs? How Do I know?

Despite your efforts, your child may still use and abuse alcohol. How can you tell? Here are some common warning signs:

• the odor of alcohol 
• sudden change in mood or attitude 
• change in attendance or performance at school 
• loss of interest in school, sports, or other activities 
• discipline problems at school 
• withdrawal from family and friends 
• secrecy 
• association with a new group of friends and reluctance to introduce them to you 
• alcohol disappearing from your home 
• depression and developmental difficulties 

It is important not to jump to conclusions based on only one or two signs. Adolescence is a time of change - physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually. This can lead to erratic behavior and mood swings as kids try to cope with all of these changes.

If your child is using alcohol, there will usually be a cluster of these signs, like changes in friends, behavior, dress, attitude, mood, and grades. If you see a number of changes, look for all explanations by talking to your kids, but don't overlook substance abuse as a possibility.

Other tips to try:

• Keep tabs on where your kids go. 
• Know the parents of your child's friends. 
• Always make sure you have a phone number where you can reach your child. 
• Have kids check in regularly when they are away from home. 
• When spending an extended length of time away from you, your child should check in periodically with a phone call, e-mail, or text message. 

For teens, especially those old enough to drive, consider negotiating and signing a behavioral contract. This contract should spell out the way you expect your child to behave and state the consequences if your teen drives under the influence. Follow through and take the keys away, if necessary.

Make part of the deal with your teen that you and the rest of your family also agree never to drink and drive. Encourage responsible behaviors, such as planning for a designated driver or calling an adult for help rather than driving under the influence.

It is important to keep communication open and expectations reasonable. Connecting responsible actions to freedoms such as a later curfew or a driver's license can be a powerful motivator. Teach your kids that freedom only comes with responsibility. A lesson that should last a lifetime.

Christopher D. Sacks

(Information statistics and advice provided in part by the Nemours foundation and Kids Health)

Relationships

This is our FOURTH Click For Fitness newsletter in May. We published two back to back, The Click Kitchen and The Click Guide.

Then I received some email requests from some of our members. These requests involved some very personal and tragic stories of bullying and abuse, prompting our next newsletter "Bullying" and this one "Relationships".

Click For Fitness attempts once again to tackle this very sensitive issue:

Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. Sadly, some relationships can turn bad. In fact, 1 in 11 high school students report being physically hurt by a date.

People in these unhealthy relationships sometimes mistake the abuse for intense feelings of caring or concern. It can even seem flattering. However, jealousy does not equal caring or affection.

Love involves respect and trust; It doesn't mean constantly worrying about the possible end of the relationship. If you feel nervous or insecure about your relationship, it is important to talk it through with your boyfriend or girlfriend, not try to control their behavior.

What Makes a Healthy Relationship?

Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well. Not sure if that's the case? Take a step back from the dizzying sensation of being swept off your feet and think about whether your relationship has these seven qualities:

• Mutual respect. Does he or she get how cool you are and why? (Watch out if the answer to the first part is yes but only because you're acting like someone you're not!) The key is that your BF or GF is into you for who you are - for your great sense of humor, your love of reality TV, etc. Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other person is and understands - and would never challenge - the other person's boundaries.

• Trust. You're talking with a guy from French class and your boyfriend walks by. Does he completely lose his cool or keep walking because he knows you'd never cheat on him? It's OK to get a little jealous sometimes - jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.

• Honesty. This one goes hand-in-hand with trust because it's tough to trust someone when one of you isn't being honest. Have you ever caught your girlfriend in a major lie? Like she told you that she had to work on Friday night but it turned out she was at the movies with her friends? The next time she says she has to work, you'll have a lot more trouble believing her and the trust will be on shaky ground.=

• Support. It's not just in bad times that your partner should support you. Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart but can't take being there when things are going right (and vice versa). In a healthy relationship, your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on when you find out your parents are getting divorced and to celebrate with you when you get the lead in a play.

• Fairness/equality. You need to have give-and-take in your relationship.. Do you take turns choosing which new movie to see? As a couple, do you hang out with your partner's friends as often as you hang out with yours? It's not like you have to keep a running count and make sure things are exactly even. But you'll know if it isn't fair balance. Things get bad really fast when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get his or her way all the time.

• Separate identities. In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises. But that doesn't mean you should feel like you're losing out on being yourself. When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that should not change. Neither of you should have to pretend to like something you don't, or give up seeing your friends, or drop out of activities you love. You should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.

• Good communication. You've probably heard lots of stuff about how men and women don't seem to speak the same language. We all know how many different meanings the little phrase "no, nothing is wrong" can have, depending on who's saying it! But what's important is to ask if you're not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided in the first place. Never keep a feeling bottled up because you're afraid it's not what your BF or GF wants to hear or because you worry about sounding silly. If you need some time to think something through before you're ready to talk, the right person will give you some space to do that if you ask.

What Makes A Relationship Unhealthy?

Abuse.

What Is Abuse?

Abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Physical abuse means any form of violence such as hitting, punching, pulling hair, and kicking. Abuse can occur in both dating relationships and friendships.

Emotional abuse (stuff like teasing, bullying, and humiliating others) can be difficult to recognize because it doesn't leave any visible scars. Threats, intimidation, putdowns, and betrayal are all harmful forms of emotional abuse that can really hurt - not just during the time it's happening, but long after.

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, guy or girl. It's never right to be forced into any type of sexual experience that you don't want. Period.

The first step in getting out of an abusive relationship is to realize that you have the right to be treated with respect and not be physically or emotionally harmed by another person.

Signs of Abuse

Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:

• Harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching
• Tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say
• Frequently humiliates you or makes you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)
• Threatens to harm you, or harm themselves, if you leave the relationship
• Twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner's actions
• Demands to know where you are at all times
• Constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends

Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable are also red flags that the relationship needs to focus more on respect. When someone says stuff like "If you loved me, you would . . . " that's also a warning of possible abuse, and is a sign that your partner is trying to manipulate you. A statement like this is controlling and is used by people who are only concerned about getting what they want - not caring about what you want. Trust your intuition. If something does not feel right, it probably is not right.

What Do I Do?

What should you do if you think someone might be abusing you?

If you feel that you love someone but often feel afraid, it's time to get out of the relationship ... FAST. You are worth being treated with respect and you can get help.

First, make sure you're safe. A trusted adult or friend can help. If the person has physically attacked you, don't wait to get medical attention or to call the police. Assault is illegal, and so is rape - even if it's done by someone you are dating.

Avoid the tendency to isolate yourself from your friends and family. You might feel like you have nowhere to turn, or you might be embarrassed about what's been going on, but this is when you need support the most. People like counselors, doctors, teachers, coaches, and friends will want to help you, so let them.

Don't rely on yourself alone to get out of the situation. Friends and family who love and care about you can help you break away. It's important to know that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It actually shows that you have a lot of courage and are willing to stand up for yourself. It’s also likely you will need help to break out of a cycle of abuse, especially if you still love the person who has hurt you, or feel guilty about leaving.

Where to Get Help

Ending abuse and violence in teen relationships is a community effort with plenty of people ready to help. The internet will list crisis centers, teen help lines, and abuse hotlines. These organizations have professionally trained staff to listen, understand, and help. In addition, religious leaders, school nurses, teachers, school counselors, doctors, and other health professionals can be sources of support and information.

-Christopher D. Sacks

(This information was provided in part by Kids Health and the information, advice and statistics reviewed by D'Arcy Lyness, PhD and Michelle New, PhD)

Bullying

There has been a lot of talk in the news lately about bullying. Click For Fitness addresses this very serious issue.

Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point.

Teasing is not normally harmful when done in a playful, friendly, mutually fun way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.

The definition of a bully is: A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

That is pretty clear but to be more clear: Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings.

Let's get back to the initial definition: A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people. But WHY?

WHY? Why do kids bully other kids?

Kids bully for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they pick on kids because they need a victim - someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way - to feel more important, popular, or in control. Although some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, that is not always the case.

Sometimes kids torment others because that's the way they’ve been treated. They may think their behavior is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts, or calls names. Some popular TV shows even seem to promote meanness - people are "voted off," shunned, or ridiculed for their appearance or lack of talent.

How do I know if my child is being bullied?

Unless your child tells you about bullying or has visible bruises or injuries it can be difficult to figure out if it's happening.

There are some warning signs: Parents might notice kids acting differently, getting anxious, not eating or sleeping well, or skipping the things they usually enjoy. When kids seem moodier or get upset more easily - or when they start avoiding certain situations, like taking the bus to school, it might be because of a bully.

If you suspect bullying but your child is reluctant to open up, find opportunities to bring up the issue in a more roundabout way. For instance, you might see a situation on a TV show and use it as a conversation starter, asking "What do you think of this?" or "What do you think that person should have done?" This might lead to questions such as: "Have you ever seen this happen?" or "Have you ever experienced this?" You can also talk about any past situations you or another family member had at that age to make the issue more accessible and real.

Let your kids know that if they're being bullied or see it happening to someone else, it is important to talk to someone about it, whether it's you, another adult (teacher, school counselor, or family friend), or a sibling.

Communication!

How To Help

If your child tells you about a bully, focus on offering comfort and support. Kids are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying because they feel embarrassed and ashamed that it's happening, or worry that their parents will be disappointed.

Sometimes kids feel like it's their own fault. If they looked or acted differently it wouldn't be happening. They are scared that if the bully finds out that they "talked" it will get worse. Children are worried their parents won't believe them or do anything about it. Some kids worry that their parents will urge them to fight the bully even though their fear makes that impossible.

• Praise your child for being brave enough to talk about it.

• Remind your child that he or she isn't alone. A lot of people, not just children get bullied at some point in their lives.

• Emphasize that it's the bully who is behaving badly, not your child.

• Reassure your child that you will figure out what to do about it together as a family. Sometimes an older sibling or friend can help deal with the situation. It may help your daughter to hear how the older sister she idolizes was teased about her acne and how she dealt with it. An older sibling or friend also might be able to give you some perspective on what's happening at school, or wherever the bullying is taking place, and help you figure out the best solution.

• Take it seriously if your hear that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out that your child "talked". Sometimes it is useful to approach the bully's parents. In other cases, teachers or counselors are the best ones to contact first. If you've tried those methods and still want to speak to the bullying child's parents, it's best to do so in a context where a school official, such as a counselor, can mediate.

• Many states have bullying laws and policies. Find out about the laws in your community. In certain cases, if you have serious concerns about your child's safety, you may need to contact legal authorities.

For the kids

The key to helping kids is to provide strategies that deal with bullying on an everyday basis and help restore their self-esteem and regain a sense of dignity.

It may be tempting to tell a kid to fight back. After all, you're angry that your child is suffering and maybe you were told to "stand up for yourself" when you were young. You may worry that your child will continue to suffer at the hands of the bully.

Here are some other strategies to discuss with kids that can help improve the situation and make them feel better:

• Avoid the bully and use the buddy system. Use a different bathroom if a bully is nearby and don't go to your locker when there is nobody around. Make sure you have someone with you so that you're not alone with the bully. Buddy up with a friend on the bus, in the hallways, or at recess - wherever the bully is. Offer to do the same for a friend.

• Hold the anger. It's natural to get upset by the bully, but that's what bullies thrive on. It makes them feel more powerful. Practice not reacting. Do not cry, look red or upset. It takes a lot of practice, but it's a useful skill for keeping off of a bully's radar. Sometimes kids find it useful to practice "cool down" strategies such as counting to 10, writing down their angry words, taking deep breaths or walking away. Sometimes the best thing to do is to teach kids to wear a "poker face" until they are clear of any danger (smiling or laughing may provoke the bully).

• Act brave, walk away, and ignore the bully. Firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away. Practice ways to ignore the hurtful remarks, like acting uninterested or texting someone on your cell phone. By ignoring the bully, you're showing that you don't care. Eventually, the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you.

• Tell an adult. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom personnel at school can all help stop bullying.

• Talk about it. Talk to someone you trust, such as a guidance counselor, teacher, sibling, or friend. They may offer some helpful suggestions, and even if they can't fix the situation, it may help you feel a little less alone.

• Remove the incentives. If the bully is demanding your lunch money, start bringing your lunch. If he's trying to get your music player, don't bring it to school.

At home you can lessen the impact of the bullying. Encourage your kids to get together with friends that help build their confidence. Help them meet other kids by joining clubs or sports programs. Find activities that can help a child feel confident and strong. Maybe it's a self-defense class like karate or Kuk Sool Won or other athletic class.

Just remember, as upsetting as bullying can be for you and your family, lots of people and resources are available.

(This information was provided in part by Kids Health www.kidshealth.org and was reviewed by D'Arcy Lyness, PhD)

Additional resources:

National Mental Health Association (NMHA)
http://www.nmha.org
NMHA works to improve the mental health of all Americans through advocacy, education, research, and service.

Tolerance.org
http://www.tolerance.org
Tolerance.org encourages people from all walks of life to fight hate and promote tolerance.

Anti-Defamation League
http://www.adl.org
The mission of this organization is to fight anti-Semitism and bigotry of all kinds.

American Psychological Association (APA)
http://www.apa.org
The APA provides information and education about a variety of mental health issues for people of all ages.

Parent Teacher Association (PTA)
http://www.pta.org
The PTA encourages parental involvement in public schools.

Center for the Prevention of School Violence
http://www.cpsv.org
Established in 1993, the center serves as a resource center for dealing with school violence.

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
http://www.aap.org
The AAP is committed to the health and well-being of infants, adolescents, and young adults. The website offers news articles and tips on health for families.

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (NYVPRC)
http://www.safeyouth.org
NYVPRC was established as a central source of information on prevention and intervention programs, publications, research, and statistics on violence committed by and against children and teens.

National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)
http://www.nasponline.org
The mission of the NASP is to promote educationally and psychologically healthy environments for all children and youth by implementing research-based programs that prevent problems, enhance independence, and promote optimal learning.

U.S. Department of Education
http://www.ed.gov
This government site offers advice, links, homework help, and information for parents, teachers, and students.

Take The First Click!

Christopher D. Sacks

Click Guide

Regular outdoor exercise has been proven to increase children’s physical and mental health. Outdoor activity helps kids maintain a healthy weight, boosts their immunity and bone health, lowers stress and is FUN!

The Click Guide was created to bring kids and their families together to take advantage of America’s great outdoors. Parks, trails, museums, libraries, picnic areas, open fields, lakes, oceans, beaches ... Every city, town and community across this great country has access to the outdoors. More than one-fifth of the land in this country is dedicated to National forests, parks and trails. Why are we inside plugged into a video game console, hooked up to an MP3 and texting, all at the same time no less?

Kids need at least 60 minutes of active and vigorous play each day to stay healthy, and one of the easiest and most enjoyable ways to meet this goal is by playing outside. By linking families to nearby parks, trails and waters – and providing tips and ideas –The Click Guide can help families develop a more active lifestyle.

Click For Fitness will be using the Click Guide to feature different cities and connect families to the many outdoor activities available. We are asking everyone to submit YOUR favorite city.

San Francisco and Manhattan were featured last week:

San Francisco

Manhattan 

BUT, then we got some submissions to Submit YOUR Favorite City.

Harrisburg

Tulsa

WE LOVE THE SUBMISSIONS! Keep them coming.

Click For Fitness and the Click Guide aim to increase opportunities for kids to be physically active and to create new opportunities for families to play together.

Take The First Click!

-Christopher D. Sacks